Here for posterity is the 3rd Pub crawl speech, it is all my own work so bear with me:-

“We choose to go on a pub crawl!

We choose to go on a pub crawl in this afternoon and evening,

and do the other things,

(like play darts or pool),

NOT because they are easy, BUT because they are hard!

I therefore commit us all to achieving this goal, before this day is out, of landing each us safely back to Upper Green kebab van. 

Remember, ask not what your pub can do for you – ask what you can drink in your pub!

We stand together and as they say in Berlin,

“Ich bin ein Upper-Green-er”

And now for some health and safety notices – please try and steer clear of any lamp posts this year! “