03/01/2020

New Year, new resolutions and I have decided to become a bit more generous.  To this end, the first 3 people to
come to my desk will get a free money bag, no strings attached.  Hopefully this weekend will give us the perfect start to the new decade.

 

08/01/2020

You could be forgiven the end of the World really is nigh.  Australia is on fire, matched by the Middle East shortly, a million species on the brink of extinction and my train this morning full of coughing and spluttering people.  Thank goodness the trains are all open so moving from one carriage to the next is seamless and I was able to leave the ‘Doctors waiting room’ behind me and take a seat elsewhere.

 So where is the good news?  Apart from this Saturday when we win, we did have Ricky Gervais to cheer us up with
his hosting of the Globes at the weekend.  So one way or another we will go down laughing!

 

15/01/2020

In a week that saw Prince Harry called to the headmistress’s office, book down the back of the trousers, to explain why he doesn’t want to be a royal anymore, Boris Johnson stayed firmly out of it.  Just in case he also gets a ticking off from our matriarch during his weekly visits. Always best not to get in the way of other people’s family feuds, it always ends badly.  Just ask any soap fan.

Here in the Lotto family though we can’t wait to split up and go our separate ways.  It’s the most amicable, fun loving, openly money grabbing family there is.  Let’s hope we get our mits on the cash soon.

 

22/01/2020

It’s hard to keep up with all the new jargon these days, the younger generation are describing themselves as ‘woke’ but far from ‘woking’ up and smelling coffee bean aroma, it seems to be used as a term to describe anyone who isn’t ‘woke’ to be labelled as privileged and racist.  I wonder if Prince Harry used this term on his Dad during his recent resignation meeting?  I can understand the frustrations of slowness with progress on climate change and the increasing disparity between rich and poor, but these are obvious to anyone of
all ages who is well read, follows politics and economics in the news and watches documentaries.  Why do we need to put a label on it?

 

29/01/2020

I was very unfortunate on my commute to witness the next level of grossness, I was literally approaching the Office, passing some chap with a brief case.  As I drew next to him, he sneezed violently, which threw his whole head and body forward.  Sadly for me, it also threw a globule of ‘sneeze’ out of his nose to splat on the pavement.  He had the wherewithal to apologies and I did the decent thing and pretended I had failed to notice anything.  Good job the latest virus out break from China hasn’t arrived here yet otherwise I would be fearing for my safety.

At least this is the last week in January and the nights are noticeably getting shorter (5 O’clock yesterday!).  Optimistic progress of sorts……..

 

05/02/2020

The Coronavirus is currently reminding us that sometimes there are bigger things than the pursuit of wealth and more stuff.  Still full speed ahead on getting us a Lotto win of course but its always good to take a moment and think about those who are less fortunate than us.

Now lets win this thing so we can hide away self-quarantine from it in our mansions.

 

12/02/2020

Why is it that when some sort of flooding or natural disaster happens, here or abroad, and people’s homes are affected, they are all temporarily re-housed in Sports Halls?  Why aren’t people’s homes and businesses built in the same location as these Sports Halls?  Whoever designs and builds Leisure Centres seems to have an uncanny knack for choosing higher ground away from rivers, earthquake fault lines and beyond the radiation escape range of the nearest Nuclear power station.  Using their knowledge could save heartache and a shed ton of money.

Which neatly brings me round to the lottery, a decent win this week will see us able to move to a house next to a Gym.

 

19/02/2020

Having spent a few days sightseeing in the North I can confirm it’s not as grim as I thought it might be, indeed the only satanic, dark mill we saw in Manchester was now a trendy hub of wine bars, cinema and restaurants.  Maybe there is something to this powerhouse after all.  It’s even got a Harvey Nichs!  No John Lewis though so still some way to go. God knows where the scenes are that Lowry painted, in fact there is pretty much a building site on every corner as modern sky scrapers go up.  I just hope they keep enough of the ‘old’ stuff around as those glimpses of Victorian industrialness we did see, does give it a certain charm and character.

Now I am coming over all Alan Bennett, so let us quickly get back to capitalism – if we win this thing, we can invest in property up there and make a mint.

 

04/03/2020

It is with heavy heart (sadly not pockets) that I have now divvied up the money in the tin and paid back cash to those who have overpaid.  It has been a pleasure to serve you all in this capacity and just a shame that in the (nearly) couple of decades we have been doing this, we never won the big one.  We had a laugh along the way and came close once with our 5 number scoop.  I wish you all the best in your
gambling endeavours and look forward to seeing the Facebook pictures when you succeed, looking like a scene from the Wolf of Wall Street.

 Allison, there is an envelope with Debbie for you and Jacqui.  Graeme and Mark, let me privately have your bank details and I’ll send the share of the winnings plus/minus any owed. 

 Cheers

Martin

 

03/05/2020

Is this the end?  This was always intended to be the final email sent out, though it never was…

 It’s that time of the year when our employer likes to play ‘Redundancy Cluedo’ when we each get to find out who has murdered us made us redundant – is it going to be Head of Infrastructure in the Mayfair Room with the HR Lady?  Maybe it’s going to be Head of IT in the St Pancras Meeting Room with the brown envelopes?

 Nothing like being ‘restructured’ into a situation ‘where you get to seek new opportunities elsewhere’ (under a bus probably) thanks to the ‘challenging conditions’.  If Management were in charge of a firing squad, prisoners would be invited into the yard ‘to seek new re-incarnation opportunities’.

 Sadly, this means the end for our lottery syndicate as we all set sail for new opportunities.  Out the way Harry Kane, we are all getting the Golden Boot now!