06/01/2010

I don’t know about you but we had around 8 inches of snow round my way (the missus reckoned it was more like 2) but I think it’s great and can’t wait for more to come along.  Who needs a lottery win when the Countryside looks so great?  Cold?  I think it was a bit milder this morning than it has been. 

So in that care free manner, I’ll be round to collect later.  A big thanks to Mark for helping himself to the cash from the tin to do the lottery for us all.  Sadly, it didn’t do any good but that’s only because 2010 is going to be our year.

13/01/2010

My New Year’s resolution is to win the lottery this year, one I think that is worth sharing with you so you may consider doing the same.

That is if I live long enough after some woman on the train this morning thought she’d save energy by not raising her hand to her mouth every time she coughed and spluttered.  There is only so long you can keep holding your breath for and then if her next cough came along just as I took another deep breath…….I’m surprised I made it without fainting.  I saw more stars than Hubble.

Two quid as usual please.

20/01/2010

Sandwiched in between a load of blokes this morning on the tube, I couldn’t help noticing how each chap seemed to be in his own bubble, using the time to marshall his thoughts for the day ahead.  Maybe they were thinking about a beer at lunchtime with the lads.  Perhaps they were dreaming of glory, heading the ball in the back of the net to the roar of a rapturous crowd in the ninetieth minute.  Some were bound to be thinking of a nice walk in the park with their Missus.

Pah, typical blokes, always thinking about booze, football and sex!  But if I could drag your attention to other matters, the matters of a fiscal kind with which to further fuel these dreams and move them into the realms of reality.  Yes, focus on me when I pop round later to collect your cash later.

27/01/2010

Having shared my journey with several members of what can only be described as the ‘Buck Teeth Society’ was quite an astonishing experience.  One chap in particular, if it wasn’t for his bamboo mandibles, would have to be described as seriously ugly.  Without meaning to be cruel I found myself betting that at some point between tube stations, one lady’s lips would actually meet over the top of her cuspids.  I lost every time.

Shame really having to go around for the rest of your days gormlessly baring a white port cullis at everyone you meet.  Which got me thinking about what you would spend your money on should be actually do it?  Dental treatment could be there, you never know.

03/02/2010

With just short of £300 in the kitty and this being traditional bonus time, it makes sense to divvy it up…..but when have we ever done the sensible thing?

There is an £85million rollover on the Euro Millions this Friday, and as we are IT workers, we have to be in with a chance.

What I propose is to divvy up half the winnings amongst ourselves (£10 each), that’s £120, and then 60 tickets on the Euro which is a further £120.

The remainder can stay in the tin as ‘float’.  To make things easy I have attached voting buttons, please use them as I will go with the majority.  If we end up not doing the Euro, I’ll divvy up £20 each, then you can always blow it on what you want.

10/02/2010

Hmmn, good news and bad news from last week.  The bad news is that we lost the money, bar £15.20.  Good news is that no other fatherless person won the Euro either and it has rolled over to an even bigger sum.

So here’s a question for you (with helpful voting buttons supplied), do you want your £10 lottery bonus, or do we put it all (£120) on for this Friday?

Tricky dilemma……let me know.

17/02/2010

Sadly, and despite the fact we are IT workers, it appears we live in the wrong part of the Country.  The Euro lottery winners seem to come from Wales or ‘out West’ – in my opinion not worth relocating there just to increase our chances of getting rich once in a while.

So once more, another week, another round of cash, you know the drill………..

24/02/2010

With all the work flying around right now, it’s time we had a welcome distraction in the form of money.  And lots of it.

It’s about time we won big, picking up the odd tenner here and there is better than nothing but its more of a burger on the way home after a night out rather than a sit down gourmet dinner with fine wine and ambient surroundings.  They may both involve steaks but you get the picture.

I’ll pop round to collect later.

10/03/2010

This is it, the big one.  The excitement is building and speculation is rife, there can be only winner and if you ask me it is likely to be Hamilton over Button.  Throw in 2 competitive Ferrari drivers and a 7 times world Champion into the mix and the F1 season is shaping up to be a good one.

Which glamour and jetset style neatly brings me onto other more mundane matters – winning the s*dding lottery.  More positive attitude required this week, with less of us in it we are going to be even more quids in.  That’s got to be an incentive if ever there was one.

17/03/2010

Will the luck of the Irish extend itself to our little group of lottery hopefuls?  With St Paddy looking down on us will he be benevolent of malevolent towards our up-turned pathetic faces?

I guess by next Monday we will know if he sent the leprechauns round to do our bidding or whether he is thinking he’ll teach us pesky English a trick or two (or words to that effect).

I’ll leave you with a quick dilemma of the day, if an ugly bird rubs herself against you on the Tube, do you claim half points or let that one go?  Tricky one….

24/03/2010

Welcome to Carlos, judging by the votes received he has clearly been sleeping with the right people.

I’ll be round in a bit to revamp numbers etc and collect cash.

07/04/2010

Business as usual, I pop round – you give me money.  We win big and laugh lots.

Simple.

14/04/2010

On a recent trip to Wales I decided to reset the speedo and trip-ometer to KM instead of miles.  To begin with I was dismayed at how, suddenly the distance was a lot longer but imagine my relief when we set off and I was able to travel much faster than before so the journey time ended up being the same as when I did it in miles.  Clever, eh?

Speaking of amusing storys I was helping out one of my esteemed colleagues (who shall remain nameless) and arrived at his desk to assist him just in time for him to promptly amuse himself by dropping his guts silently.  At the first whiff of stench I retired to a safe distance while countering with comments about his ‘butt-ling gun’.

Which brings me neatly onto the lottery.  Life stinks, but with your help we can make it much more fragrant by winning this lottery thing.

05/05/2010

With less than 24 hours to go before we get a chance to remove an ineffective bunch of gets from Office, surely an air of optimism must be pervading about the place.  I’ll take all positives and if that means we win on the back of a good election result then that’s fine by me.  6 crosses marks the spot.

12/05/2010

It is unbelievable that we have not yet won the lottery after 8 years, the bitterness has finally got to me and I have been wracking my brain on just whose fault it is, and frankly it is Sue’s fault.  She is the organiser who should have advised us on some proper numbers but for whatever reason she made mistake after mistake.

So Sue, wherever you are, you’re fired!

For those who want to know what I am on about:-

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=114511175248882&ref=share

In the meantime, I am off to agree with Nick, maybe he know what numbers are going to come up.

19/05/2010

New Government, new era and one of austerity if the outgoing Labour treasury Ministers joke about the lack of funds left is to be believed.  Well life’s too short to sit around waiting for everything to pick up, let’s be the organ grinder for once and jump the queue in the race for cash by winning this thing once and for all. 

26/05/2010

A big lottery welcome to Stuart who has been voted into ‘club’ – I did give him every opportunity to run away given our amazingly bad track record but maybe he is the talisman we have been waiting for all these years.

God I hope so.

I’ll be round to collect later, or maybe tomorrow depending on how thing go, but don’t worry the tin will see us through tonight!

02/06/2010

I like to think that, like yesterday’s weather is a glitch on Summer, the last 8 years of lottery money down the drain is some sort of extended glitch.

And this week is time for normal service in the guise of a huge, mega-mungus lottery win.  This should certainly fund my normal life style of living in a large house with deer park etc, so all we need is some cash from your good selves, so expect to see me later to collect.

07/06/2010

There has been a doubling of the Thunderball prize to half a million, plus its easier to win something so how about in addition to the normal lottery we blow the £100 odd quid on some tickets this week?

To help you decide I have helpfully added voting buttons.

09/06/2010

We live in uncertain times, austerity measures about to bite and mixed fortunes for England in the World Cup (and we haven’t even started yet), it’s time to stand up and take control.  Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, grab hold of your destiny (and no, that’s not a euphemism) and lets scoop this lottery
thing.  Don’t forget this week could be a double pay out with the Thunderball as well.

Heres to the Summer of cash.

23/06/2010

Crunch time.  With issues in the ranks and an inability to get a result, we seem to have badly lost our way.  It’s all we can do to hold our breath, cross our fingers and pray like mad for things to go our way today.

Yes, that’s right, I’m talking about the lottery – let’s do this! I’ll be round later to collect before the football starts.

16/06/2010

A tale of good news and not so good news with our Thunderball last week – the not so good news is that we didn’t win it.  Yeah, I know, shocking.  Can’t quite believe it myself if I’m honest.

However the good news is we didn’t lose all £100 either, we managed to claw back £56.

Anyway, that was last week and we have to move on and continue our quest, Kung Fu Kane style it would seem (i.e. grinding out a rather mediocre result each week) but stay focussed and I’m sure we’ll come out smelling of roses in the end.

30/06/2010

I can’t believe it’s Wednesday again.  Seems like only a week, and what a week, one to forget for the footballists amongst you.

Still after this week when WE perform as expected and get the big one, all our woes will just melt away.  Believe it and it will happen. 

Probably.

07/07/2010

I had the distinct pleasure of having some young girly quash herself against me on the tube this morning.  The good news was ten points was gleaned from a quick go of elbow tit.  Sadly the elbow in question belonged to her, leaving me with a sore pec.

Story of my life really. 

Or is it?  As today we have the opportunity of ending the cycle of ‘nearly but not quite’ and actually achieving something.  C’mon, let’s do this!

21/07/2010

The warm weather is back and the holiday season is upon us so now is the time to be thinking of sun, sea, sand and …er…sangria.

All of which cost money of course so that’s where the AIC (alternative investment club) comes in. 

For a mere £2 a week (OK £4 this week as I couldn’t collect last week) this high risk, all-or-nothing balls out strategy is where you want to be.  Last one on the yacht in Torremelinos has to bring the donuts!

04/08/2010

Disappointment is a word that is never far from our lips these days.  Sometimes it’s a fine line between ‘disappointment’ and scoring big time. 
Barichello nearly being stuffed into a wall by one M. Schumacher at the weekend was a bit disappointing.  Supporting the England football team is up there too.  Doing the lottery week after week could potentially be in that category too but yet somehow it endures with the promise of greatness just around the corner.  It just has so far turned out to be a very long corner, or we are going round in circles!

Let’s break the mold this week by proving we can do it, we deserve to lose the disappointment.

10/08/2010

I have some good news and some bad news, the good news is I have the day off tomorrow which is excellent news.  The bad news is that I won’t be able to pop round to collect the money as usual, but fear not I‘ll purchase the tickets on the way home tonight and we can sort it all out afterwards.

Right, pay attention – here comes the rousing Churchill bit:-

We’ll give over our weekly cash with growing confidence in a win, Whatever the cost may be, We shall sunbathe on the beaches, We shall spend in the streets, We shall fly through the air first class, We shall never surrender the champagne bottle!

13/08/2010

No your eyes are not deceiving you, I am off for the rest of the week after today.  Fear not though as I have popped out and got this weeks tickets and will collect the cash next week along with …er…. next weeks cash.

18/08/2010

It’s the end of an era with Karen’s departure, now we are 12, which has to be luckier than 13 right?

Hopefully we will find out this week in our quest for stake-mounted lunar real estate.  Speaking of holidays, I’m orf for 2 weeks so we need a volunteer to send out a dodgy email and collect the cash.  Something else too……..ah yes, pop up the shop and make a donation to Camelot.

You know it makes sense.

08/09/2010

I’m back and a big thanks to Carlo for sorting the lottery out in my absence.  News this week is that we are a man down as Stuart is no longer with us, so now we are 11.  Either way that has to be better than the 13 we had for a while though it seems to make no difference to our luck.  I’m thinking of inviting a black cat to join us and a ladder so I can walk under it on the way to the shop to prove a point.

I’ll be round later to exchange banter and collect money.

15/09/2010

Summer is officially over and we need cheering up before the nights finally draw in completely.  This means finally winning this lottery thing, now we are fewer this means more cash each so there is an incentive if ever there was one.

Fingers crossed, we are going in!

22/09/2010

Before I forget, its lottery day.  If my poor legs don’t give up on me I’ll be round later to collect.

06/10/2010

As you may know the impossible Euro lottery has rolled over to £112 million squids.

We have £130 in reserves in the tin which could get us 65 tickets.  I know the odds are a bit high to say the least but if you are in it……..

I have provided voting buttons for you to vent your opinion on, let me know.

13/10/2010

Sniff dating.  Apparently it’s the latest craze for singletons in their quest for misery happiness, according to reports on the radio this morning.  Being the radio of course I didn’t have any visual reference to go on but I assume each person aims their nasal passages at the head end of the intended target.  From the female perspective I would guess this would quickly eliminate at least 50% of the male population according to my own unofficial straw poll carried out over several Tube journeys.  Whatever next?

And speaking of ‘what ever next’, after our unfortunate failed attempt last Friday to get phenomenally rich its back to the bog standard lottery again.  Normal routine has resumed and I’ll be round later to collect.

20/10/2010

With only 65 days to Xmas, it’s a time of financial worry.  What better to boost the coffers with a significant win on the lottery. 

Simples!

27/10/2010

Yep, its that time of the week, and hopefully time to put our recent poor performance behind us and get some serious winnings.

I’ll be round later to collect.

03/11/2010

Another day, another tube strike by those muscle-flexing dinosaurs out to make our lives a misery.  What joy it would be if we didn’t have to travel by Underground, either because we had retired or because our Chauffeur whisked us past the serfs battling there way hither and thither.  And seeing
as it’s a £10 million pound roll over on one of the up and coming draws, it could happen……..

10/11/2010

After Monday nights dry run for the Xmas period (though it has to be said there was nothing dry about it!), the focus is now firmly on the fast approaching festive season.

This usually involves great expenditure in a short space of time; beer/wine, losing at Champagne spoof, burger/kebab on the way home, dry cleaning bill to get the stains out of your trousers, paracetamol and bacon sandwiches to cure hangovers.

Expensive business. 

Which brings me neatly into the lottery and a quick (and easy) way to get a load of cash.  Give me the money, I’ll pop round the shop, and we’ll be all set to make it a year to (half) remember.

24/11/2010

First off thanks to Pav for stepping up and getting the tickets last week, good show.

With the weather poised to take a turn for the worse, clearly a decent win on the numbered-ball-tombola is just what we need, after all cold weather gear doesn’t come cheap.  Toboggans always go up in price at this time of year, etc so this is it – focus hard and let’s see if we can make it a decent cold snap.

01/12/2010

Having missed ‘I’m a celebrity, get me out of here.’ last night due to my young daughter taking time out of her sleep schedule to rev up everywhere, I found myself out on the driveway late last night hosing off chunks of food matter from a bed sheet when I should have been tucked up with the remote being reminded what sunshine and warm weather looks like.  All of which lead me to think that it’s about time we nailed the lottery, for no other reason than it would cheer me up no end.

I’ll be round later to collect, cash that is – no chunks.

08/12/2010

Christmas Party time, and we must all secretly be hoping that someone once again produces some Office Christmas Party Gold by acting in
a vastly inappropriate manner spurred on by alcoholically induced bravery.

However, in case it turns out to be one of us, it’s always nice to have some sort of insurance in place, which is where the lottery comes in.  Whilst still sober I’ll be winging my way upto the High Street to place a wager on the lottery.  Let’s hope we get a pay out but actually don’t need it.

15/12/2010

I now know exactly what I would spend my money on should we win the lottery this week.  A chauffeur.  Seriously, for the last 10 years’ trains and the Tube have worked just fine, then suddenly it’s like travel standards went off a cliff in spectacular fashion.  It’s at the point where I only tell my boss
when the journey went right.  That’s yet to happen btw.

So help me out here, let’s get these numbers right.

22/12/2010

So this is Christmas?  And what have we done (other than a cheap repeat of last year’s email)?  More to the point what haven’t we done!  Let’s put this right and make it a right Royal knees up by blagging the cash.  Now that would make it a Christmas to remember.